Today I got one of the worst calls I think anyone can ever go on. I was sleeping when my pager went off around 9 am. The dispatcher came across the radio sounding very stressed...which usually means a "good" call is coming.

"Rescue one, respond on an agency assist, have reports of shots fired and an officer down. Repeating shots fired, an officer and another suspect are both down."

My stomach sank and I wanted to vomit. I don't think I have ever gotten dressed so fast in my life. Jason and I sped to the station and took the rescue lights and sirens to the call, 2 towns over.

When we arrived, I expected chaos. Thats how big incidents always seem when you are working from the other end of the radio (the dispatch chair.) I expected everyone to be running around and orders being shouted; pandemonium at its finest. When we walked into the scene, though...it was calm. Somber. The suspect had been shot dead by other officers and was still laying on the pavement. Blood covered the vehicle, the sidewalk, and a trail leading to an ambulance where other fire personnel attended to the officer. He was shot twice in the head. His clothing had been cut off and still laid on the sidewalk, in a grisly outline of where his body had fallen.

An officer who knows Jason walked up to us in tears. He hugged Jason, and broke down. This was his third officer-involved shooting that he had witnessed in his short career. I turned away to keep myself from tearing up only to see 2 officers behind me, sobbing and hugging each other.

It was surreal. Many of the officers I know and work with on a day to day basis are some of the toughest guys I know, and yet this happened to a very experienced officer in the blink of an eye.

I hope and pray this is something I never have to dispatch. I hope I am never on the radio when an officer calls out "shots fired, officer down". I hope, and yet I know it is something I can't avoid forever. As long as I am in this line of work, the chance of me having to stay calm and coordinate the response during the worst day of someone's--or many people's--lives gets greater and greater. It makes me a little sick.

Keep Capt Harold Terry, his family, and the rest of the officers who work day and night to keep you safe in your prayers tonight, won't you?