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There are a lot of weird questions people ask you when you are pregnant. Things you would (hopefully) never dream of asking a non-pregnant person.









So, do you have stretch marks yet?

Are you constipated?

Do your knees/hips/ankes/joints feel loose and wobbly? Mine felt like Jello!

So, are your insides just one big bruise?

Retaining water sucks. Are you super bloated?

Then there is the all-encompassing, "How are you feeling?" When I used to ask my pregnant friends/coworkers this (because I thought it was the polite thing to do), the really general, vague answers used to bother me a little. "I'm good." "I'm fine," always accompanied by a polite smile.

It wasn't until I got pregnant that I learned that you are asked this questions approximately 5-10 times daily, so there is a reason not much thought it put into the answer. (also? If I do give you more than "fine" and tell you about my achy hips, my acid reflux or my calf cramps, please do not give me The Look with The Eyebrows and The Knowing Smile and tell me to "just wait" or start listing all the horrible things that I have not yet experienced but will soon. not helpful. or nice.)

Anyway, I have gotten used to all the strange and prodding questions. Truth be told, I usually don't even mind them. Last week, though, Sam and I were shopping at a baby boutique and I got one of the weirdest questions I have been asked so far.

The sales girl was making small talk about my pregnancy, and asked how far along I was. I told her just over 30 weeks.

"So, you're about 2/3 of the way done, then?"

blink blink. erm.

(quick math, quick math)

"No, I'm 3/4 of the way done. I guess."

She smiled and went back to folding her stack of baby clothing. Hi, you work in a baby store. You should probably know that we do not measure pregnancy in fractions. Or decimals. And to ask a pregnant woman to convert how far along she is into anything other than weeks or months is not nice. Our brains are functioning at a lower capacity, and you should be glad mine worked out to be such an easy fraction or I would have just stood there staring at you, finally answering with "I don't know" and it would have been super awkward and I would have felt dumb and you probably never would have realized that YOU were the dumb one.

Anyway, if anyone is keeping score, I have about 60 days left, which is about .2143 percent of my pregnancy left. Anyone want to convert that to a fraction for me?